Jealousy Will Kill Me

As we speak,
It's taking over my mind,
Shaking me violently,
Tearing me apart inside.
It's been here all along,
But has come back with full force,
It doesn't care how it's affecting me,
It has no remorse.
It makes me be unlike myself,
Makes me seem insane.
Turns me into an animal,
Brings to me great pain.
This feeling has become so great,
I have recieved the nick name Envy.
They really have no idea,
How well that actually fits me.
It's almost like jealousy itself,
Is who I truly am
Just an essence of it that shoves my skin
Just like a battering ram.
When it has it's moments I see the world,
As a place forbidden and black.
But I never know when it comes like this,
No warning of attack.
Because as soon as I see the thing,
That triggers it's horrid spell,
I'm lost in a pit of helplessness,
A place that seems like hell.
Jealousy is consuming me,
Like an uncontrollable fire.
If I say I'm ok,
Then you know I'm a liar.
All I can ask from all of you,
Is to just stick with me through this disease,
Maybe even give me a hug,
Because only you can keep me at ease.

--ashley july 31 06 9:40 pm--